Notes from Germany

I am an American expat living in Germany. It's a far away land on the other side of the ocean. It's interesting and often weird here. If you read this and want to comment then email me at blog(the at symbol)chillmost.com. If you find any spelling or grammar mistakes, you can keep them.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Combing My Hair In A Brand New Style

One thing many Germans like to criticize about America is the ever-present pretentiousness. The one example always given is the habit of Americans asking how you are doing when, in reality, they don't care. I always dismissed it as just a cultural difference. "Hey, we're just polite. Deal with it!"

While in Tucson I realized it was, in fact, extremely annoying, especially when one has been living in Germany for the last 4 years. The hotel staff would keep asking how I was doing? "Good afternoon, sir. How are you?" or "How are you doing?" I know they are just being polite but it was just weird. I have never been asked by a clerk or salesperson in Germany "Wie geht's Ihnen?" unless I was on familiar terms with them and maybe know each other from outside of work. If you ask a German how they are doing and you don't really know them, you might get a funny look or something akin to a "Umm....., I'm okay" and they are probably thinking you are a pretentious asshole. Or they might actually tell you and you don't want that. Trust me on this. Ahem.

So when I was in Tucson and was walking down the hall towards a member of the hotel staff, he was all, "Hello Sir, how are you?". I started my own mental assessment. How am I doing? Am I okay? Without waiting for my answer, the guy had already moved on down the hall. Just being friendly and polite I know but I was tempted to tell the truth; "I'm fucking hot. It's 115 degrees outside and it's 60 inside and every time I go in or out I get a goddamn cold or a heat stroke. How can you people live like this?!?!" Next time I saw a member of the staff approaching I knew he was going to ask how I was doing and I remembered that I wanted to tell the truth to let the guy know how pretentious and bullshit their question was. Yeah that's right. Take that. So a split second later came the question.

"How are we doing today, sir?"

"Um, Fine. Thank you."

Anything else would have been rude.

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